Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Lesson 10 - Learning to Turn it Over to Jesus

If you have just started, these posts go in order - Lessons 1 - ? They are, what I feel, built up my faith in Him and His plan for my life.   These lessons are about my daughter's cancer journey.  Go back and catch up - none of the posts are long.

Lesson 10 - Being BOLD in Jesus

We were following the plan for protocol.  Five months in with the chemo and now time to start the radiation.   

I waited in the waiting room while they took Anna back for her first radiation.   I looked around the room at all the others "waiting."  I noticed this young pretty girl, she was working on some small letters with envelopes.  I wasn't sure what she was doing, announcements, thank yous...something like that.  I was drawn to her, thinking about why she would be here.  Who was she "waiting" for?    Anna came out and we went home.  We would return each week day after that for 30 days.  The first radiation was a Friday.

I kept thinking about that young girl all weekend.  I didn't get a chance to see who she was waiting for - what the story might be.  I just knew she looked sad, keeping herself busy filling out those cards.   I just had this feeling all weekend long that I needed to talk with her.  As previous lessons taught me, I needed to listen to that small voice inside me.  I knew the Lord wanted me to talk with her - I felt it.  

You know,  when you feel you are supposed to do something - being led to do something - this is what I felt.  However, I was afraid...hey, didn't a previous lesson teach me that He would give me the words.  "OK Lord, if you want me to talk with her....give me an opportunity."  

There we were Monday afternoon and there she was.  The t.v. was on - news about Hurricane Katrina.   She was watching too - "isn't that terrible"  I said.  She agreed.  "I grew up in the South" she says, "we moved up here to be close to my husband's family."   O.k....the story was starting to fill in..."I've been working on these thank you cards while I wait for him" she says.  She politely starts working again on the cards.  I shouldn't bother her.

For some reason, I think of my nephews, Ben and Bob.  "My nephews are in bible college 'down South', St. Louis" I tell her.  "I went to bible college in St. Louis too," she says.  "It probably isn't the same bible college, they go to Gateway Bible College" I said.  Her eyes widen - "that is where I went."  (light bulb moment here).  "Hey, don't think I'm weird, but I think the Lord wants me to talk to you."  

We started talking.  Her story isn't that different from many who have grown up in the church, including mine.   Being raised going to church, yet wanting to experience "things", rebelling a bit, but wanting to return to what you know is "best for you."  She tells me that she met her husband, they were married and were just starting their life together.  He had childhood cancer and now it had returned. He needed to move back up here to be close to his doctor and family.  They were living in Wisconsin Rapids.  She wanted to find a church like the one she grew up in, however she couldn't find one.  I knew that there was a church like this there - a boy from our church was now the youth pastor.  The church name didn't say Pentecostal or Apostolic in the title.   I told her I would let her know the name of the church tomorrow when we returned.  

Timing is everything, as you would guess, the next day was his last day of radiation.  I went home, called my brother, asked him the name of the church and contact information.  The next day I gave this to her.  She was so happy.  She knew they "needed" to go there.  I later heard from her, they were attending when they could and were thankful for all the prayers and help from this church.  

"Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in a time of need."  Hebrews 4:16

I might not have been able to be so bold to talk with her, had I not learned from my previous lessons.  Don't be afraid to be used or feel like you can't be used.  After all, it is the broken that needs to be fixed - including me!

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.
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