Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Chris Rock - "Supposed to Do"

I like Chris Rock.  His comedic style, while full of the F word, reflects an honesty in his experiences of his world.  I respect people who can express "their" truth - no matter how offensive - in such an honest way.  I may not always want to hear it - but, I appreciate honesty.  I also can choose NOT to be offended.

On more than one occasion, I have heard, "do you just say everything you are thinking?"  Or, "yikes, tell me how you really feel."  I try not to do this, but sometimes I just can't help it.  I also have been on the receiving end of this and because I dish it - I can take it.  So if you offend easily...stop reading this post.

You are still reading...OK, here goes:

Chris does a sketch where he talks about people wanting to get credit for things any other person would normally do:  (proudly) "I take care of my kids!"....well, that's what you're supposed to do!  It is this statement..."that's what you're supposed to do..." that I find myself quoting lately. 

I know to some, I might be old, old fashioned and outdated...but, I wonder when did our world change?  My dad worked long hours, in all kinds of weather, outside to provide for his family.  Most dads in our neighborhood did.  My mom took care of her 6 kids, washed and hung all laundry on a line, cooked, canned, sewed and mended our clothes.  Most moms in our neighborhood did.  This is what they were "supposed to do."  I would add, I never heard either my dad or mom complain - they just did it.  

Thank the Lord there wasn't face book back then...could you image the status posts - they would put us all to shame!

"Cleared the back 40, tractor had flat tire, milked 50 cows and cleaned the barn by hand....or, up at 4 am, baked 4 loaves of bread, breakfast for 8, washed 3 loads, hung on line to dry, ironed a basket of shirts"...all before lunch.  Now these would be status' worth sharing!  

It irritates me beyond measure to not only read these posts, but hear people talk about the things they do - the things that they are "supposed to do" as if they should get an award, metal or recognition.  Really?

Where did this come from?  People wanting accolade's for things normal people just do.  Social media, while I do use it, can create a false impression of self worth.  To me, it is sad to read these post - what is lacking in this person's life that they feel the need to post such things?  

I see it in other areas as well.  You can be a part of a team, not show up for practices, come on game day and expect to play.  Not only play, but when you fail - instead of taking responsibility for not putting in the time and effort of practice - you blame the coach, other team or teammates.  Attending practices and working hard is what "you're supposed to do."

I had someone give me a suggestion about how to get kids to listen.  "We could reward them for being good..."  I said no, we are not doing that - kids are "supposed to sit still and listen."  Reward them for doing what they are "supposed to do?"  How is that helping them?  

It just all seems backwards to me.  When I was little, if my mom had to say something to me more than 2 times, I was in trouble.  If I was being a brat, she didn't make excuses for my behavior - she disciplined me - after all, by behavior was a reflection on her.  Even to this day, I can't stand to do something I think will make my mom look bad.  Respecting my elders, sitting still and speak when spoken to, was what I was "supposed to do."  

When I was little, if you came in last place at a track and field event, you received a last place, not a participation ribbon.  I sucked at all sports and knew it - because, I was always picked LAST.  Did I feel bad, yes, did it make me stronger, yes.  This "everyone deserves to play" attitude is not helpful to children.  Not only in sports, but with other kids as well.  It is better for them to learn, if I want to be better at a sport or have kids want to play with me, I need to put some effort in it.  Do you think Aaron Rodgers became the quarterback of the Green Bay Packers because he deserved to play?  No - it was hard work on his part!  Working hard at something, whatever it is ... is what "you're supposed to do."   

I really hesitated writing this, because I'm sure someone will read something into this and get offended.   I recently had to write a "sassy frass" letter to my 4-H families.  When I passed out the letter, I stated my sassy frass wasn't meant to offend them, but help them.  These families know me well enough that they laughed.  I hope those reading this post can do the same...after all, loving people for how they are is what we "are supposed to do."  

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.



TexWisGirl said...

i am not a parent, so usually i hold my tongue on 'kids these days' practices. but i was raised much like you - learning to pitch in, do my part, respect my parents and others, study hard. i remember years ago a co-worker telling me about her kids' graduation ceremonies - for every grade they completed - and even a homecoming court for her daughter's elementary school. i thought how sad...that these kids have nothing to look forward to any more. everything is considered 'special' and recognized until nothing is special anymore.

Felecia Cofield said...

So true Jacky! I agree! After teaching in public schools for several years, and being around lots of kids, I have seen so much of this! Reward kids for being good is what they encouraged. The thing is, only a handful maybe, would get rewarded! Times have changed so that people think that people like us, are old fashioned. They want the 'new way' of doing things. Look at what the 'new way' of discipline has gotten us! I applaud you for what you are doing! I'm sure the kids in your class respect you a lot more for the values you are instilling in them. At least if they don't now, one day they may look back and realize what that funny lady was trying to do! Keep up the good work, Jacky! Oops! More of that positive reinforcement I was trained in! Blessings from Bama!