Monday, November 11, 2013

Motivational Monday - Self Control

Sometimes I like to blame my bad behavior on my genetics.  My favorite one is... "well, I can't help it I have crazy Kincaid genes...."  My mom's family is known for their "passion."  No matter the subject, expressing, arguing and passionate communication were a part of my life.  I know I've inherited that - whether it is genetic or learned - I struggle with my "passionate personality."  

Nothing, however, has brought out my "crazy" more than motherhood.  I was the mom on the "nut" list.  My mom taught me that "if you don't stick up for your kids, no one will."  My mom was often referred to as a "mama bear."  I find it complimentary when people say "don't say anything to Jacky's kids - she gets crazy."  I am a MAMA BEAR through and through.  

Over the years, this "trait" has proven to be beneficial.  My ability to be strong when facing an adversary like - cancer - was an asset.  On the other hand, my inability to contain my "crazy" has caused me a tremendous amount of stress.  My reaction to people or situations have not always been favorable.  I later regret things I've done or said.  

My children are adults now.  I have invested all I had in them.  Alan and I feel we did the best job we knew how to do.  It is hard to let go and let them go.  

Yesterday, I was challenged with, dare I say tempted with, an ugly situation of verbal attack on one of my daughters.  I felt I had an idea of how this person felt about this matter - I had no idea how strongly opposed they were.  It happen to be that I was on the receiving end of their "crazy."  I remained calm and listened.  

I called Alan and told him what happened...word for word...he paused and said "what did you do?"  Oh, he knows me so well.  I don't let anyone talk to me like that!  What I did and what I wanted to do were 2 different things.   When he heard how I handled it he said "wow, I'm so proud of you!"  You see, what I wanted to do was punch this person in the face, grab them by their belt loop and collar and kick their a** out the door.  I hate to admit, but, have experience in doing.  Listening and remaining calm....I don't have experience in.  

What made me stop, was that I have changed.  No, really, this past year or more of reflection - changed me!  I don't want to be like that!  I thought of me and how I would feel after I had an altercation with this person and I stopped, remained calm and walked away!  Yey for me!  

Thank you Jesus!  Oh, I know that this matter isn't over - it might never be - but, how I react to this family and what I say will be forever changed by how proud I feel of myself and the self confidence gained from my self control.  So, this is what self control feels like....I LIKE it!

So, dear followers, please pray for me.  

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.  

6 comments:

TexWisGirl said...

good for you.

Felecia Cofield said...

Hi Jacky! The more I read the more I learn about you and feel like you must be Joyce Meyer's sister! Lol! That was such a hard thing you did! Keeping one's mouth closed and hands behind the back when you want to let it fly! I am so astounded how you are letting God be in control and not Jacky! That's amazing! I don't know if even I would do that, and I'm not quite as 'passionate' as you! I pray that the person who said such things will be pricked in their heart and will apologize for their words and behavior! Keep up the good work Jacky! Good for you! Blessings from Bama!

Justine said...

Good job!! :)

Justine said...

Good job!! :)

Franklin Ritchie said...

Solomon says that a person who can control their spirit and temper is better than the mighty and stronger than one who takes a city. (paraphrase mine) Good for you, "the force (Holy Ghost) is strong with you".
(in my best Yoda voice)

hikchik said...

Your girls are great. You should be very proud of the job you did. You gave them the best gift a" GREAT MOTHER" They are both fine young woman. Vikki