When You are Between "I Got This to Throwing in the Towel"

And that my friends is where I am at....I hate to even admit it.  I "got this" or should I just "throw in the towel?"  Have you ever been here?  

"I got this" - something you can deal with or handle.
"Throwing in the towel" - admitting defeat.  

My post today will be our ladies bible study.  I know, a bible study about this?  "This" is exactly what a bible study should be about, it's when you need one the most.  

Truthfully and unfortunately, I do this to myself.  I could be relaxing, doing nothing I guess, but that's not me.   I told my mother-in-law that I feel I'm more busy now then when my girls were home.  Part of it is, I like to do too many things.  I also am trying to "build" my business.  Even though, I've been doing what I do for over 25 years.  However, there wasn't social media back then.  I mean, all the pictures, accounts, pages are necessary in today's world.  Getting "connected" and "collaborating" with the "right" people is essential.   So, with that said...I'm closer to throwing in the towel!  

I try, I do, but sometimes I feel like that picked last kid again....I want to play with the "big dogs" only they don't want to with me.  You might not think this is that way, but it's true.  I went all they way to another state to do a show where all my favorites were, thinking I would make some new "friends" - silly me....(wink, wink).  I'm just not what you think the face behind what I do is, wait....or, maybe it is...LOL  Either way, I did throw in the towel on that one.   

Some days, I think, O.K. you've "got this" and with the Lord's help I usually do.   My sister Lynn says this all the time, "I'm not worried about it, Jesus will take care of it."  At the time I'm thinking...how do you think He is going to do that!  I think you, as in me too, need to take care of it, whatever the it is.  Not that I think we need to sit back, do what we want the way we want to and then when trouble comes say "well, Jesus will take care of it."   That's not how we should live.  

The "Jesus will take care of it" comes from faith.  We can look back on the past, things He helped us through and calm our anxiety with that knowledge.  "He's got this" there is no I in it!  Once you understand that, you're one step closer to NOT throwing in the towel.  

I can't help but think about David and all his troubles in his life.  He did "it" to himself too!  Psalms is the poetic documentation of it.  He sure seems to have had is moments of "I got this to throwing in the towel" - being chosen, killing a giant, being favored, Saul chasing him, his rise and fall as King, his short comings in fidelity...come on David throw in the towel already!  He kept going and shared it in his blog called Psalms, chapter 34 is a good reference to it.  

Psalms 34:4:  "I sought the Lord and he heard me and delivered me from all my fears."  

Psalms 34:17:  "And the righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles."

Psalms 34:19:  "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all."

So, Lord help me help myself.  As we turn the calendar page into October and the race is on for Ringle Harvest Day, 2 quick barn sales here at the farm and a trip with my daughter Anna, "Jesus, please take care of it."  I will move ahead one day at a time, keeping in mind "He has this" I need to have faith that it will all turn out the way it's supposed to.  If anything good come from it all - to HIM be the glory!

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.  





  

Restless Nights

I've had several weeks of restless nights.  I know we are to "cast your cares upon Him" and I've posted plenty about it!  Just tell my sleeping pattern that...LOL.

I know it's anxiety.  I have some pressure from my loving husband to clean up and out a section of a building - at this point and time - any building - so he can park his tractor and our trailer in it.  I even woke the other night and shouted out loud..."I can't sleep!"  He jumps awake and says..."why?"  "because you are going to take the bucket on the tractor and push all my junk in a pile!"  "Ok! I won't now go back to sleep, I need to sleep!"  Of course after all that I couldn't and it was 1:30 am....I went downstairs and worked on the vendor list and map for the Ringle Harvest Day...which is another cause for anxiety!  I stayed awake until 4:15 am and went to the couch.  People...why do I do this to myself!?!  I'm the one doing it!  So restless nights remain.  

This morning it was 3 am!  Wow, can you get a lot accomplished at 3 am!  I'll take a Sunday afternoon nap after church.  Believe it or not....I had a vendor message me at 2:45 am - which could be what woke me!  My phone is on silent, but the light came on....2:45 am!!!  "Do I have a booth?"  Really?!  And I wonder why I can't sleep!  

I tried deep belly breathing, working my issues out in my mind..."I'll do this, then this,"  "worse case scenario option is..., LOL" praying, reading...nope, I'm wide awake.  I had a few friends in the same "stage of life" that I am in tell me the same thing.  They have difficulty sleeping...stupid menopause.   

What do you do when you can't sleep?  I am really looking for suggestions.  Let me know.

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.  

Around the Farm Table's Garlic Fest

Our Wisconsin PBS has a show I absolutely love called Around the Farm Table.   The host is adorable, she adds a quirkiness to each episode that features her family, friends and neighbors and focuses on Wisconsin produce and artisans.   Her series was picked up nationally, so coming soon to a PBS channel near you too!  Congratulations Inga ...et al...America is going to love you!

She is a FarmHER with a small herd of Jersey cows.   Her farm, St. Isidore's Mead, is adding a creamery and will be producing some specialized cheeses soon.  I can't wait.

In her own words, "I needed to diversify my farm, so I decided to plant garlic."  I love garlic!  The event, Garlic Fest, was held this past weekend at her farm.  Link here:  https://www.facebook.com/aroundthefarmtable/  and  http://aroundthefarmtable.com/

Here we are with Inga.  

Garlic was for sale in addition to green garlic seed for planting.  I bought both.  I need to weed out an area for the garlic, which you plant in the fall.  

After a tour of her farm and a visit in the barn, we were ready for the cooking presentation.  Her mom was helping her.  

The recipe was for Swiss Chard Tart.  It was delicious!

After the presentation, her mom took us on the "set" - the kitchen in the house.  She shared stories of how show episodes are chosen, the research put into each and the behind the scenes out takes.  

We (Al, Justine, Josh & I) really enjoyed ourselves.  Al was over by her garden taking a picture of a leaf - he has an app he likes to play with...LOL...I told him it was a tomito, but he insisted.  Inga came over and said something so sweet, as she started to make an apology....I stopped her and said "this is why we love you, we have weeds too!"  Oh we laughed and she said..."I'm not a Martha Stewart, I don't have a staff that stages all this for me." I like Martha too, but her hoity, toity..ness...I could live without!  Inga's willingness to be "real" is what makes her fun to watch!  

I made a garlic fried noodle dish for supper.  Her garlic had firm bulbs with juicy, fragrant cloves!  So fresh!  

If you would like to meet Inga too, she will make an appearance at the Ringle Harvest Day:  https://www.facebook.com/RingleHarvestDayFleaMarket?ref=hl that is a community wide event.  She will be in the Ringle town hall at 1 pm.  It is a FREE event, all we ask is that you bring a non perishable food item for our local pantry or the humane society.  Thanks!

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.  

"It's All Sham Pain" Thanks Five Finger Death Punch

I like to listen to "metal" and many a poetic lyric has resonated with me.  None more so lately, than Five Finger Death Punch's "Sham Pain."  If you can take a few swear words, YouTube it.  LOL

I love how they twisted those words....LOVE it!   That is exactly how I have been feeling lately.  This is the jest of what I get out of it.  A sham is something that is not exactly what it is presented to be, false, bogus and pain is what it is.  Champagne = celebration....Sham Pain = how I feel lately!

Let's break this down to what Dicky Bird has been doing and you will see how funny this is to me.  Have you seen those Pinterest Nail or Fails?  Or the pictures of people trying to copy it, "how they look...how I look..." you know what I'm saying, right?  To me, this song is on those same lines. 

O.k. we live in a social media driven world.  No matter if you are a cook in the school kitchen, mom on the playground, a fitness coach or an antique dealer, we all share our day in some way on social media.  None more so than those of us who are self-employed.  We have to!  For real or how is anyone going to see what we do.  If you are in the business, you know what I mean and it's hard for some of us, less than savvy users.  

After all the wonderful shows that occurred over the weekend, looking at the amazing booths....I felt defeated!  My stuff sucks!  Come one now....we've all been there!  Then I heard this song and I knew I would blog about this.  It's all "sham pain!"

Oh, don't get me wrong, I love looking at all the perfectly staged, meticulously manicured images that pop up on my news feeds, I do!  When you promote yourself, style or items for sale - you need to!  For the most part, I'm inspired, but at times, if I'm being honest, discouraged.  It's all "sham pain!"

I had to laugh yesterday, as Lisa and I were working, this song ran through my head.  Oh we could and do, post nice pictures of the items at our sales, but do any of you know what we had to dig through to get it?  Many times, lots of critter poops...for real!   People always say, "I would love to do what you do" - but, could you?  It's not easy, even though some of the images make it look that way.  It's all "sham pain."

I wanted to post this for my Motivation Monday, but I was working at our sale all day and then a Town of Ringle meeting.  I was going to try to squeeze it in before I fell asleep, just so I could say I posted on Monday....but, then again, its all "sham pain."  

I hope that you would think on the twist in these words the next time you feel like I have been.  It really makes me laugh.  The chorus of the song is this:  "all in all it's a good life, I got what I want, I can't complain.  I'm living the good life, a toast to you know, it's all "sham pain."  

So, I will - champagne = celebrate what I do the best way I can do it, but keep in mind, it's all "sham pain!"

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.  

Comment Help - Blogger Problems

I don't even know if this will work, as I don't know if I can even receive comments.  But, do any of you out there know how to get back your old comments.  I've spent - I won't share how long...googling, asking, HELP boards, Blogger Reply....to no avail....I did something and I don't know what.  I don't even know how to get back to the broken I can't receive messages.... I just want my old comments back, I want to have anyone be able to leave a comment and I want them to be seen on the blog.  Any ideas?  Thanks

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.

I Choose You

"If I've never said this or have an opportunity to say it again, I want you to know that - I choose you!"  

I know I've talked about being picked last at every gym class, not being popular, last of 6 kids, end of the line hand me downs, growing up in a church where my siblings chose "them" over me....I mean I could go on....but, I think you get the picture.  All of those things make me look like a baby and I hate posting about this, but I have to.  I hope this helps someone else.  And, yes, I know Jesus chooses us.  He does, and loves us, this is not about my insecurity in that.  It's about being human and living with other humans being human....we fail many times.

You know what??...what people say about us, the things that happen to us as kids really do have a long lasting affect.  I thought I was over some of them...but, I guess those wounds run deep.  Come on, I can't be the only one who, maybe out of the blue, hear a word or see something and you're right back in 2nd grade.  Even an old scab or scar will bleed if you pick at long enough.  

I had a rough day recently, where it was the "perfect storm" where many of my past insecurities and hurts came all down to one sentence someone said to me....in front of my daughter.  I was back in 2nd grade....I do know that the stage of life I'm in plays a role in my emotions now.  

I shared these things with my brother Frank who is also my pastor.  When I call him, I will say..."I'm telling you this as my brother, not my pastor..." I have to define what capacity he is listening to me in...LOL.  He let me vent, point out some "truths" to him and before I could even get in a rebuttal to what I thought he was going to say...he said that first statement to me..."I choose you..."  Wow, it was like a wave running over me.  I know this sounds silly or simple - it is!  I'm not denying that.  However, how that made me feel erased many of my old hurts.  

So now, I've decided to tell others that same statement, because it made me feel so good.  If you happen to be reading this and feeling down, know that He (Jesus) does choose you!  Me, Dicky Bird's Nest, the blogger, is happy you are reading this and maybe following along.  I choose you, my reader, to share all of these ups and downs with that maybe you can benefit from my vulnerability in writing.  

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.  

Web Lessons

This spider is actually the size of a quarter.  I saw it only after I walked face first into it's beautiful web.  It found a nice spot to sleep in our barn.  I'm torn about what to think of it.  On one had it's scary and yet again beautiful; it's web is a nuisance, but productive and it's a helpful creature with a nasty bite.  I had an allergic reaction to a spider bite just last month.  By the way, put raw honey on them...it really works!

This spider had my thinking about a blog post.  I could go in the direction of getting tangled in a web..."oh what a web we weave..."  That would be a good one.  I could do it on "itsy bitsy spider, after the rain, getting knocked down, back up the spout..."  That has some substance too.  Then I thought of how a spider waits, waits patiently for a fly to land in their web.  Then I had to chuckle...as I was in the barn going through old inventory to put on my Town Hall Trinkets On Line Estate Sale group on face book:
  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1914536328603700/?source_id=729693193716630   doing just that.  I was creating a "web" of images to post and now I patiently wait for some sales.   I had to laugh, so this is the direction of my post.  


I know for some of us, blogging is an extension of our social media marketing.   However you look at it, through blogging we are marketing ourselves, ideals, style, image and for some items for sale.  I've been doing "this" what I do for a long time.  Long before social media.  It still never ceases to amaze me how this all works.  "This" as in social media.  That in itself would be a good post about the "web" ....LOL.  

So, I will weave my creative little web and sit and wait.  Wait for more LIKES, wait for more followers, wait for more members, wait for more sales....wait....  Taking lessons from this spider and the "web."  

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.