Filling In Roles After a Loss

 A family I love and have known for decades, had to say goodbye to their mom yesterday.  Gail, was really "one of kind."  I know people say that, especially when someone passes on, however this time it's true.  

She came into my life when I was a preteen/early teen years.  The family started to attend my childhood church.  I grew up and spent several decades of my life attending this church.  We both, later ended up attending the same church again, my brother Frank is the pastor.  It was such a blessing to reconnect with Gail over these past several years.  I will cherish them even more, because this time around we were really friends.  When you are younger, someone like Gail is just your friend's mom or an older lady at church.  

Gail was known for her hugs.  I don't let too many people hug me, but this time around in our relationship, I did.  I'm so glad too!  Have you ever hugged someone and just felt like a whole body hug, that is the type of hugs she gave.  She hugged with purpose, because she really loved you.  Gail was also known for her quirky sense of humor.  Even though we are considered "church ladies" we shared in some "off humor" most wouldn't like, but we did.  Gail was also 100% real, what you saw is what you got.  She was a giver of whatever she had, none more important than her time and her ear to listen.  

I have been reading some of the posts about her and everyone is saying these same things.  I'm finding out things she did for other's without all the bells and whistles of poeple knowing about it.  I was reading them to Al, who by the way, was able to have a realtionship with her this time too.  He even let her hug him.  Anyway, I said "Al, who is going to fill in here with this loss?"  When a person passes, you don't always think of who will step up and fill in these roles.  It reminds me of The Office episode where Dwight was fired and after, Michael walks around the office asking, "why is this plant dying, why isn't my desk top arranged neatly anymore?"  Then the finds out it was Dwight who did all that without other's knowing.  Now that he wasn't there, those things were not done and no one stepped up to do them.  Other's must have seen the plant needed a drink, but still it was thirsty.  

That, I guess is what I was talking with Al about.  I said, "I don't want to hug everybody, I don't want to sit in a waiting room with a husband all day while his wife is in surgery, I don't want to run to McDonalds for someone who posts on facebook that they are hungry and can't leave work, I don't want to listen to everyone's problems, I don't want to ...." the more I list, the more selfish I sound.  But, for real...who is going to do all of these things?  Gail's loss is more than her physical body.  We have faith that her "body" is at rest and her "spirit" will receive and eternal reward.  

I was convicted with my saying "I don't want to" - and I don't - but, someone has to fill in the roles.  Gail's passing on has challenged me to be more sensitive to what it is we are supposed to be doing.  She gave me one of the best compliments and I will not share it, but I will cherish it.  Something, my own family never said to me, not because they don't think it, possibly, or that they ever felt it, they just didn't.  I'm a 7 we need to hear these things.  However, she said what she said and it meant the world to me because it was from her heart.  I loved her.  

So, Gail, here's to you and all you meant to so many.   You will be missed here, but we rejoice in knowing your eternal reward.  

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.