Tips on Tuesday - For the Overcommitted

One thing I've had ample time to do during this "safer at home" is a bit of self reflection.   Slowing down, opening up my calendar - with an actual "excuse"....other than saying "no" - to enlighten my direction.  

I've always been good at helping others.  I'm not saying that to get a pat on the back, it's just true.  Often times, to my own demise, I've helped.  I've tried to help people, even if I didn't know what I was doing, was already busy or whether they asked for it or not, it's just what I do.  I come from a long line of this....it is as inherent as learned....  

"You can't help everyone, Jacky, it's nice of you to try" (Renee) or "Mom, you can't help them, we don't even know where we are going" (Justine/Anna) " 'Cakes', can help you help me...here...a bit?!?" (Al).  It's that one....that wakes me up in a cold sweat during the night (it's more than just menapouse).   Last night was one of them, I couldn't fall back to sleep - thinking about all the stuff I should here - to make my life easier.  

After some study, reading, reflecting, sweating....I have worked on a few things for the "overcommitted" that may help you as well.  So, here are my 5 Tips.

Stop...Recognize....Admit....Reflect...Change

1.  Stop 

Listen to those who love you.  Listen to yourself, your body they are talking to you as well.  Find a way to be brutally honest with yourself.  It will only help you, overcommitting is hurting you.

2.  Recognize

"I want to change" and "I am not helping me."  Were a few things I said/say to remind myself of my habit of overcommitting.  It's hard to say "no," I know, I like people to be happy and like me.  It's just, lately, I don't like me and I have to live with me.  Take a look at just how "happy" doing "this" makes you...if you're not, change. 

3.  Admit

"Dicky Bird, you are an overcommitter!"  I know I do this.  It is because, I don't like to let people down.  I also know that when I was a bit younger, I could do more.  Now, not so much.  In fact, my doing more, isn't helping me mentally or physically.  Maybe you overcommit for other reasons.   Think about the why behind yours.

4.  Reflect

Make a Pie Chart (not my original idea - but, I like it).  Draw a circle, add 4 smaller circle lines to make 5 sections.  Divide the pie into 8 equal pieces.  Label each piece with the titles, or you can create your own as to what is important in our life.

Fill in the chunks on a scale of 1-5 ( 1 least, 5 greatest).  I plan to do this monthly, because as you change and grow, so will your pie chart.  O.k., here is mine, for an example.  I don't feel right now, that I am a 5 in any area.  Environment for me isn't the outside or my farm, I love it, that would be a 5.  Rather, it's how I use my buildings, my clutter inside...that is why it was a 1.  Fun is low too, because it seems like everything I do, involves my job.  That is a downside to self-employment.  Be honest with yourself.

So, why do this?  Well, when you are overcommitted, the important things lack...it's true.  Once you do this, you can see where to focus your energy.  Reflect on the why behind the change - breaking the habit of overcommitting.

5.  Change

I also made lists.  I know, I'm a list maker...it's the crossing off the list....I'm lacking!   I have a daily one, weekly and big picture (summer project) lists.  It will help you to stay focused.   "ring, ring....Hello, this is Jacky....Hi, I was wondering if you could...."  (shaking my head).  Now, I'm NOT going to stop doing things, to the contrary, this is helping me see exactly where I want to focus my talents and time, in the right now, next 4 months type of thing.  Fall will bring its own set of lists and hopefully a wiser, stronger me.  

Good luck!  

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.