November National Adoption Month

 

As much as I would love to share pictures of my grandchildren, I have been asked not to.  However, I can tell you that adoption has made me a Grandma Bird.  I am not the one putting in the time and effort of raising an adopted child, my children and their husbands are.  I am writing this from my perspective.  I feel I need a disclaimer.  

When I was little and in school, I only knew 1 person who was adopted.  It wasn't until just this past year, I found out about 2 other girls I graduated with, that were adopted too.  I had no idea!  

My mom and dad were foster parents for years.  My sister Lori adopted my niece Angie, who was her foster daughter.  Adoption isn't new to me, it's just something I didn't expect for me personally.  

You all may not know this, but as the last of 6, I don't share well.  By the time something worked it's way down to me, it was broken or well worn.  When I get something new, I'm not sharing.   I also, have a tendency to get jealous.  This concept comes learned as well....my mom was the same way.  She said "if I find out (one of us) calls their mother in law "mom" I'm going to get mad!  I earned that title, I put in the time, blood, sweat tears.  That's my name!"  As last child, I had to hear this 5 times over.  To this day, I don't call Marlene "mom," she is my mother in law or Grandma "Pepper" (her dog).  

So, adoption....it's all about sharing.  

I would be a liar if I told you this isn't still a struggle for me.  It is!  Just like my mom, I know the work, time, love, support, prayers that I put into my girls.  As far as "earning" it, I do understand why she felt that way, but I don't want to be like that!  What has helped me, is to think about the birth families.  My little grands came from love.  Their moms and grandmas made difficult decisions based on love and sharing.  I love each of them, pray for them daily and am beyond humbled to share in the loving of our (grand)children.  

I hate to quote "Sister Wives" but, LOVE IS meant to be multiplied not divided.  

I am reminded of my own quote "She is God's child not mine."  When I had to face Anna's cancer.  

Oh, my little grands are God's, birth family, our family, extended family's children.  They are so lucky to be loved by so many.  I will be thankful for whatever "work, time, love, support, prayers" I am allowed to put into my grandchildren.  

The next time you hear someone has been adopted, think about the difficult decisions made out of love.  The love that is multiplied and not divided.  

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.