Sink or Swim

 

What an amazing end to a beautiful day.  We have always enjoyed swimming at Norrie Lake.  Al grew up in a Navy family, living everywhere, but no matter where it was, he spent weeks in the summer in Wisconsin with ALL his grandparents and they swam at Norrie Lake.  I didn't start swimming there until after my sister Lori moved to Eland.  When our girls were little, it was many, many evenings swimming at Norrie.

Some days, I get rather "blue" I do fight it though.  I had a few aunts and truthfully, my own mom, rest their souls, that happen to have "blue" days too.  I have a vivid memory of opening a door to a dark bedroom during the day as my cousin asked her mom if we could do this or that.  Another memory is looking for a cup in the kitchen cabinet, only to find it stocked like a pharamcy.  No matter the ailment, my aunt had a pill there to "help" it.  That really stuck with me.  I use to say to my girls "there is no 'magic pills' for (whatever it was)."  Even my own mom, had issues with emotions and controlling them.  She one time chased the "meter man" (does anyone still do this job?) off our yard with a pitch fork because he yelled at one of her kids.  This is the cloth from which I was cut.  ahahah  Anyway, I have been blessed in my life by all the examples - good or bad - that have created my story.   

I guess, I say all that to say, some "issues" I did inhereit.  But, I fight like hell against it.  Yesterday, was a "blue" day for me.  We've had some rainy days that didn't help, but summers on the farm aren't quite what they were.  I walked from barn to coop, garden to stoop, looking at and thinking about all the fun I had with my girls in the summer.  Horses, rabbits, sheep, hogs, fair projects, baking, canning, swimming, just all the "things."  Truthfully, sometimes I look out by the barn and think I still see Peppy and Jack.  Both are at each of our daughter's homes now.  I guess, it was just that it was such a big part of my life and I really, really enjoyed it!  I'm crying just typing this.  I had to quickly switch my mind to think "oh, how blessed it was to do all the things we did and we did them together."  I am happy, not sad, but oh, how fun that stage of life was!  

So, I grabbed my phone and notebook and walked out to the barn to group and stage lots for sale in my group and clean up from the sale we had here Saturday.  I was thinking, I would emerse myself into that.  But, even that is on a short list of things I will have to quit doing too someday. 

The past couple of weeks of reflecting I came up with a phrase that really has been a true to life mantra for me.  I shared it with Al and pointed out examples of this sentence as it applied to our relationship.  I shared it with other examples from my life.  He said, "I do see it!  You are right!  I'm sorry that sometimes it seems to go that way for you."  I shared part of this with my daughter, Justine who is a therapist, she pointed out it could have to do with my "change" of life.  Yes, I was thinking that too.   Less life ahead than behind and did I do all I could do?  

I had to run pick up something from a client last night.   I talked Al into coming with me.  Good thing too, as it was heavy and up steps.  So, we took the dogs, stopped for icecream and went to Norrie Lake.   I had no idea when I left home, that I would go swimming.  I thought, I am not going to let this opportunity pass without my taking advantage of the beautiful water.  Other than 2 guys fishing in a boat, I was the only one in the water.  It was wonderful.  As lay floating, I thought, "Dicky Bird, you can sink or you can swim."  Swim it is......

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.