"If I've never said this or have an opportunity to say it again, I want you to know that - I choose you!"
I know I've talked about being picked last at every gym class, not being popular, last of 6 kids, end of the line hand me downs, growing up in a church where my siblings chose "them" over me....I mean I could go on....but, I think you get the picture. All of those things make me look like a baby and I hate posting about this, but I have to. I hope this helps someone else. And, yes, I know Jesus chooses us. He does, and loves us, this is not about my insecurity in that. It's about being human and living with other humans being human....we fail many times.
You know what??...what people say about us, the things that happen to us as kids really do have a long lasting affect. I thought I was over some of them...but, I guess those wounds run deep. Come on, I can't be the only one who, maybe out of the blue, hear a word or see something and you're right back in 2nd grade. Even an old scab or scar will bleed if you pick at long enough.
I had a rough day recently, where it was the "perfect storm" where many of my past insecurities and hurts came all down to one sentence someone said to me....in front of my daughter. I was back in 2nd grade....I do know that the stage of life I'm in plays a role in my emotions now.
I shared these things with my brother Frank who is also my pastor. When I call him, I will say..."I'm telling you this as my brother, not my pastor..." I have to define what capacity he is listening to me in...LOL. He let me vent, point out some "truths" to him and before I could even get in a rebuttal to what I thought he was going to say...he said that first statement to me..."I choose you..." Wow, it was like a wave running over me. I know this sounds silly or simple - it is! I'm not denying that. However, how that made me feel erased many of my old hurts.
So now, I've decided to tell others that same statement, because it made me feel so good. If you happen to be reading this and feeling down, know that He (Jesus) does choose you! Me, Dicky Bird's Nest, the blogger, is happy you are reading this and maybe following along. I choose you, my reader, to share all of these ups and downs with that maybe you can benefit from my vulnerability in writing.
Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.
I know I've talked about being picked last at every gym class, not being popular, last of 6 kids, end of the line hand me downs, growing up in a church where my siblings chose "them" over me....I mean I could go on....but, I think you get the picture. All of those things make me look like a baby and I hate posting about this, but I have to. I hope this helps someone else. And, yes, I know Jesus chooses us. He does, and loves us, this is not about my insecurity in that. It's about being human and living with other humans being human....we fail many times.
You know what??...what people say about us, the things that happen to us as kids really do have a long lasting affect. I thought I was over some of them...but, I guess those wounds run deep. Come on, I can't be the only one who, maybe out of the blue, hear a word or see something and you're right back in 2nd grade. Even an old scab or scar will bleed if you pick at long enough.
I had a rough day recently, where it was the "perfect storm" where many of my past insecurities and hurts came all down to one sentence someone said to me....in front of my daughter. I was back in 2nd grade....I do know that the stage of life I'm in plays a role in my emotions now.
I shared these things with my brother Frank who is also my pastor. When I call him, I will say..."I'm telling you this as my brother, not my pastor..." I have to define what capacity he is listening to me in...LOL. He let me vent, point out some "truths" to him and before I could even get in a rebuttal to what I thought he was going to say...he said that first statement to me..."I choose you..." Wow, it was like a wave running over me. I know this sounds silly or simple - it is! I'm not denying that. However, how that made me feel erased many of my old hurts.
So now, I've decided to tell others that same statement, because it made me feel so good. If you happen to be reading this and feeling down, know that He (Jesus) does choose you! Me, Dicky Bird's Nest, the blogger, is happy you are reading this and maybe following along. I choose you, my reader, to share all of these ups and downs with that maybe you can benefit from my vulnerability in writing.
Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.
I thought I had 2 comments on this post, however I can no longer see them. Thank you to the 2 who did.
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