Lesson 8 - Learning to Turn it Over to Jesus

If you are following in order, Lesson 8 is still following the PLAN.  If you just started on this post, go back and catch up, the posts are in order.

Still on protocol - following the PLAN

The first round of chemo wasn't too bad - yet.  Anna was feeling good, so we went down to the family play area.   As we were looking at books, playing some games, I noticed another mom with her daughter.  This little girl had some physical challenges and I wondered about their "story."

I began to make small talk with the mom as our girls played.   She tells me she is from Iowa and they are on one of many return trips to see the specialists at the Mayo Clinic.  I mentioned that I was from Wisconsin.  She looks at me and says "I grew up in Wisconsin."  She turned and studied me a bit more and said "you don't have a brother named Frank do you?"  I was shocked, "yes, I do."  Well, come to find out, she  went to high school with my brother.  I'm all the way over in Rochester, MN, she is from Iowa and we had a connection with my brother Frank.  Small world right?  Or, is it?  

After all my previous "lessons,"  I knew this wasn't a coincidence.  She began to open up and share her story.  I listened, it was a sad situation.  Hey, I'm not the smartest person, I didn't have answers for her, what could I do to help?  So, I shared with her some of the amazing things I felt God was doing in our lives.  Yes, my daughter had cancer and God was still doing amazing things.  

She tells me that growing up she knew Frank was a Christian and that there was something special about him.  I told her that the special thing she saw was Jesus.  "Jesus is special not only to us, but can be to you as well."  This was an opportunity for me to share Him with her.  I did.  We BOTH left that play area more encouraged than when we came in.

It was at that moment I realized that this experience had to serve a "purpose."  I prayed that Jesus would use it and our family in some way.  I wanted to have the right spirit and be sensitive to those around me.  Over the next year we had opportunities to be used by Him.  I will share a few in the next couple of posts.

"For thou shalt be a witness unto all men of what thou hast seen and heard."  Acts 22:15

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.

Lesson 7 - Learning to Turn it Over to Jesus

Thus far, I've learned some vital lessons that have been for my good.  I learned to NEED Jesus, I can do nothing with out Him.  I've learned to TRUST Jesus, he will take care of my problems, I only need to give them to Him.  LISTEN to Jesus or that still small voice inside me.  WALK with Jesus, he has given me the shoes I need for this path.  To follow His PLAN. Following the plan took several lessons.  The plan/protocol was 42 weeks.  I would like to share a few with you.

There Anna was, sitting on the hospital bed, silly red head and all.  She looked so healthy, laughing and smiling - how could she be sick?  They removed the tumor, why do we need to put her through chemo.  I had to trust that was, what was best for her.  I struggled with letting them start the medicine that ultimately would "hurt" her.

As the nurse came in to start the first chemo I turned to her and said, "I need to pray."   I proceeded to pray aloud, openly with nurse and needle by my side.  I didn't know what else to do...she looked at me and said "what faith..."  I didn't know her, what she believed and at that time - didn't care.  I only knew that I had to make the decision to start the chemo - I couldn't do it by myself.  Jesus had to be there with us - so I called on his name.  The protocol was for 3 different drugs - with each new  drug the nurse brought in - she actually asked "shall we pray?"  We sure did, right there, openly and aloud, the 3 of us with Jesus.  I had peace and Anna was at peace.  Oh how wonderful to trust in Jesus.

Anna had many, many more rounds of chemo left.  I looked at that protocol sheet - we could cross one off the list - only 41 more weeks to go.  

Psalms 9:10  "And they that know they name will put their trust in thee:  for thou, Lord hast not forsaken them that seek thee."  

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.

Lesson 6 - Learning to Turn it Over to Jesus

I've been posting about some lessons that helped build my faith in Him.   I feel He was preparing me, rather giving me the tools I would need to help my child go through bladder cancer.  If you want to know the steps he used in order, please go back and read lessons 1 - 5.  Lesson 6 - Still following the PLAN - (Protocol).

We returned to the Mayo Clinic to begin the treatment protocol for Anna's bladder cancer.  She had a surgery scheduled to put in a port and another biopsy of the tumor.  I didn't even know what a port was, that she had to have this device put into her chest in order to receive chemo.  This was a whole new world of terms and procedures we had to accept.  

As the surgeon came out to see us, he said everything went good with the procedure to place her port.  However, he had some good news.  You see, the protocol for treatment, was to have 12 weeks of chemo, to reduce the tumor and then return for the surgery to remove it.  Then more chemo and some radiation were part of the next 30 weeks.  I didn't like the idea of the cancer still being inside Anna - but, that was the protocol.  He said to us, "we NEVER defer from protocol, EVER, but while I was doing the biopsy, I could see that the tumor was growing on a stem like a cauliflower.  I thought, I can scoop this out, so I did."  "We removed the tumor today." 

Wow, the tumor was removed first, before the chemo.  He said it was a good thing and I believed him.  You see the doctors have their protocol, but God has his too.

We placed our lives in the hands of professionals, trusting they knew what to do - always praying for His guidance.   We knew Jesus healed her, we just had to live through the procedures.  With His help and lots of prayers we were going to "do this."  

"For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."  Romans 8:18

It was our hope and prayer that somehow we could glorify Him in this trial.  We totally placed our child in His hands.   I surrendered all my "mama control" over to Jesus - she is His not mine.  

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.

Lesson 5 - Learning to Turn it Over to Jesus

If you have been following my posts, I have been writing about the things I experienced and how it gave me the faith I needed to turn my problems over to Jesus.

What I recognize now is that Jesus was preparing me for something "bigger."  I didn't know while I was taking those steps that they would help me have the skills needed to tackle my daughter's cancer.   If you would like, go back and read the other "Lessons."

1 - NEED Jesus
2 - TRUST Jesus
3 - LISTEN to Jesus
4 - WALK with Jesus

Lesson 5 - Follow His PLAN

I had only heard of the Mayo Clinic, I had never been there.   Many people we talked with said "why are you going all the way over there?"  "We have great doctors in Madison and Milwaukee."  I couldn't  answer that, something kept telling me to go to Mayo.    If you have never been to Rochester, MN or the Mayo Clinic, you might not know how big it is.  There is a massive system of underground network from one building to the next - it goes on and on.  Overwhelming for these country folk.   

While waiting to see the doctor, I looked around at the other families waiting too.  Each had their own challenge - each a story.  What was waiting for us.  

We went to the office, a friendly young man was waiting.  No words were spoken yet - he looked at us - we looked at him - and sat down.  He turned to Anna and said "I'm so sorry you have to go through this"...he looked at us and said "but we know Jesus heals."  Yes, a Christian.  He was the doing is fellowship at Mayo, learning to be a pediatric oncologist.  He proceeded to tell us about the physician we were going to see.  "She just returned from a seminar in Europe where she was the guest speaker.  She is the world leading authority on Rhabdomyosaracomas.  It is her speciality.  No one else in the world has studied this type of cancer more than her."  Could you believe it, a Christian resident and the world leading authority on Anna's type of cancer.  Now I knew why I had such a strong feeling to go over to Mayo.

After many days and many tests, we returned to her office.  She began to explain to us what this cancer was, where it liked to grow, how we would treat it, loss of hair, sickness - it was just so overwhelming.  "Only about 3-4 kids in the United States each year have a Rhabdomyosaracoma in the bladder and rarely are they girls" she said.  She then handed me a sheet of paper with a calendar of dates and acronyms for drugs I couldn't pronounce much less spell.  "What is this, I asked."  "This is a protocol" she said.  "It is the recipe or plan we have followed before for treating this type of cancer."  I had no idea.  I just thought we would go over to Rochester, they would take out her tumor and we would be on our way.  I looked at the calendar it was 42 weeks.  42 weeks....of drugs, tests, surgeries and radiation.  As I held this piece of paper - all I could think about was - how are we going to do this?  

She told us to go home, come back the next week and we would get started.  Get started....for 42 weeks of unknown.  Little did I know then, how much this protocol - PLAN would shape our lives.  

"I know the plans I have for you, plans of hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Lesson 5:  follow His PLAN

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.

Lesson 4 - How to Turn it Over to Jesus

These posts about "How to turn it Over to Jesus" - are a series of lessons I feel go in order - a part of His plan to build my faith.  Please go back and read them.

Lesson 1:  Learning to NEED Jesus
Lesson 2:  Learning to TRUST Jesus
Lesson 3:  Learning to LISTEN to Jesus

and Lesson 4:  Learning to WALK with Jesus

There we were in the hospital waiting room, waiting for the urologist to talk to us.  "Mr. and Mrs. Luetschwager?"  "Come into this room and wait for the doctor."  Wait, wait to hear what he found...wait to hear an answer.....wait to hear words I  didn't understand.  "In all my years as a physician, I've only ever seen this one time,  it was during my residency fellowship at Detroit Children's Hospital.  I believe what your daughter has is Rhabdomyosaracoma, a soft tissue tumor - cancer."   He proceeded, "do not go home and look this up, do not research this, it will only scare you.  This is a very rare form of cancer.  You will need to go to a pediatric oncologist."  

A Rhadomyowhat???  No....but, I knew already....the day before.  We left the hospital that day with words we didn't understand, heads full of - what next - and Anna carrying her urine bag in a purse.  That was a Friday.

We went home, made arrangements to go to Mayo Clinic on Monday, Al took off work and we told our family.  No one knew except our family and close friends.  

At this time our pastor was leaving.  His wife's dad was pastor of a large church in Eau Claire.   Our pastor would take over that church.  He was gone this weekend and we had a guest minister.  My brother Frank lead worship service, we planned on having the church pray for us at the end of the service.  No one knew yet....then the guest pastor came up and preached his message.   The title of his message was  "God will give you the shoes you need for the path you are on"   I couldn't believe it - I felt like it was a message straight from Him to us.  Honestly, I couldn't tell you the passage of scripture used, what all he said, only...."God was going to give us the shoes we need to go on this cancer journey."

After he spoke, my brother Frank came to the pulpit....he too was overwhelmed with the message...."what a great sermon for us all, but especially the Luetschwager family"  and he proceeded to tell the church about Anna.  We came up for prayer as a family - we all were in this together - they laid their hands on us and the church prayed!

The guest minister that day....became our current pastor.

So, with a set of sturdy shoes, we set out for Rochester, MN and the Mayo Clinic.

"And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known; I will make darkness light before them and crooked things straight.  These things will I do unto them and not forsake them."  Isaiah 42:16

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.

Lesson 3 - How to Turn it Over to Jesus

If you have been reading, these lesson posts go in order. 

Lesson 1:  Learning to NEED Jesus
Lesson 2:  Learning to TRUST Jesus
and now;
Lesson 3:  Learning to LISTEN to Jesus

Life was pretty good; kids doing well in school, Mom and Dad back home from nursing homes, business growing, farm life busy, planning a garden....you know, normal life.  Well, that all changed too.

Anna, our youngest daughter was 11 at the time.  She had been having problems with urinary tract infections.  It seemed like one right after the other for about 3 months.  Then she started to have blood in her urine.  The several trips to the doctor, only sent us home with more antibiotics.  

Anna was having problems at school because she was having to excuse herself to use the bathroom so many times.  I remember the day so clearly, the school called, Anna wasn't feeling well and I went to pick her up.  I was determined to find out what was wrong with her.  I drove over to our doctor's office and said...."there has to be something wrong here."  Our doctor called his friend, a urologist and they made an appointment for that afternoon.  

As we entered the clinic - Urology Associates of Wisconsin - they had a bulletin board all decorated and it said "Bladder Cancer Awareness Month" - we had some time, so I read over all the symptoms.  You know that pit in your stomach feeling...that still small voice in your head - it was a spiritual thing.  I instantly knew that Anna had bladder cancer.  I looked at her and said;  "Anna, you have bladder cancer, Jesus just revealed it to me, but it will be O.K.  We will make it through this with His help."  We didn't even get into the doctor's office and I had my answer.  

I ran out to my car, called my sister, Lynn (she is a nurse).  I told her "Lynn, Anna has bladder cancer."   She said "No, how do you know?"  I said "We haven't been into the doctor yet, but Jesus just revealed it to me."  She said "don't claim that yet till you hear him say it."  I tried to explain to her what I had just experienced in that waiting room - it was a Jesus thing - and I couldn't explain it.

They called us into his office, he examined her and said her bladder was FULL.  He had his nurse put a catheter in.  Poor Anna filled not only 1 huge cylinder, but another half way as well.  He looked at us and said I want to do a cystoscopy of her bladder tomorrow.  We agreed to go to the hospital in the morning for the tests.  

I didn't tell him what Jesus revealed to me.  I decided to wait on that.  How was I able to know that Jesus revealed this to me?  I looked back at the lessons He already brought me through.  I had the faith to say:  Lesson 1:  To NEED Jesus - we sure did, cancer is scary.  Lesson 2:  To TRUST Jesus - I couldn't control what I was going to do or say in Court - I didn't have to - I instantly knew I could trust Jesus and turn the control of this situation over to him.  I had peace knowing that Anna isn't my child, she is His.  He knows what is best for us.  He is in control.

Lesson 3:  Learning to LISTEN to Jesus.  When I read that bulletin board and knew Anna had all the symptoms - I heard it in my heart - Jesus revealed it to me, He gave us peace!

"The voice of the Lord is powerful; the voice of the Lord is full of majesty."  "The Lord will give strength unto his people; the Lord will bless his people with peace."  Psalm 29: 4 & 11

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin. 

Lesson 2 - How to Turn It Over To Jesus

Lesson 1:  Learning to NEED Jesus

Lesson 2:  Learning to TRUST Jesus

I'm an antique dealer and folk artist.  I quit my job in 1996 to be an "at home" mom.  I chose to change my career from something I was paid to do, but really hated; to something I wanted to do because I loved it.  

Reselling junk and creating things is my passion.  It actually is in my genes.  I knew I had a talent for finding things to sell or recreating them into something new.  I decided to do that as my "job."  This has developed over the years to what I currently do.  

Alan built me a shop/studio on our farm.  It was always my dream to have my own shop.  I decided to open one week a month and call it:  Town Hall Trinkets a Monthly Market.  Each month I had a theme and created items and redecorated my shop to reflect that theme.  I LOVED it. 

During that time, I had some really good customers.  It was one such customer that introduced me to a "picker."  A "picker" is someone who goes out and finds items to sell to an antique dealer, who in turn sells it in their shop.  

I had many opportunities to buy from several different sources.  However, I decided to meet this picker and see what he had for sale.  This person worked for a very well known estate sale company in the Wausau area.  He had opportunities to purchase items before the sales.  He had a list of buyers that he sold to.  I really can't think of a dealer in our area who didn't purchase from this person.  He was well known in the antique circle.

When I first met this person, I felt sorry for him.  God had been so good to me with the success in my business that I thought I should help him out and buy some stuff from him.  I had many difference sources for my inventory, but I felt he needed the business too.  So, I purchased some stuff from him over the course of a few months.  

During that time, there was a terrible series of garage fires in the Wausau area.  These arson fires where scary for the people living on the east side of Wausau.  An elderly lady was even found dead outside her burning garage.  This was terrible and unsolved over many months.  

Little did any of us in the antique business know that it was actually this "picker" who was responsible.  

I still remember the night the officer called me and said that he needed to come out to my house and ask me a few questions about this person.  You could have hit me with a ton of bricks as this deputy told of the evidence in this case.  

This ugly story unfolded over the course of a year.  A year of investigations, questions, "good cop bad cop", accusations - it was horrible for all parties involved; including me!  I actually distanced myself from many in the antique business.  I was scared, worried and angry that my reputation would be defined by this horrible situation.  I spent years building my business on honesty.  My story never changed, it didn't have to, I was telling the truth.

I wrestled with myself, rehearsing my testimony for many, many months.  It all came down to the fact that I wanted to control the situation.  "Well, if they say this...I'm going say this" (I had worked for an attorney years prior and knew some dirty secrets about some pretty powerful Marathon County individuals, and I was willing to share that if need be).  I can not tell you the time I wasted on this - it consumed almost my every thought.  

As terrible as this was, I kept saying to my family and friend, Lisa, that I know Jesus loves me and he wouldn't put me through this unless I am supposed to learn something from it.  I just kept saying that over and over.  I knew there was more to this lesson than just not to buy from a thief.

So, it is the day before my testimony in Court.  I grabbed my bible, put it to my lips, closed my eyes and said aloud...."Jesus, if you love me, can see me right here in my kitchen...give me something...a sign, a verse when I open this bible...please."   Well, you would not believe what I opened to, where my eyes fell.  Mark 16:9 - 11.  "But take heed to yourselves; for they shall deliver you up to councils; and in the synagogues ye shall be beaten; and ye shall be brought before rulers and kings for my sake, for a testimony against them.  And gospel must first be published among all nations.  But when they lead you, and deliver you up, take no thought beforehand what ye shall speak, neither do ye premeditate; but whatsoever shall be given you in that hour, that speak ye, for it is not ye that speak, but the Holy Ghost."

What I got out of that was profound...."when they shall deliver you up to councils (court); don't think on what you will say....for in that same hour that you speak I will give you the words."  I screamed!  I'm an idiot.  I didn't need to worry what to say, Jesus is going to give me the words.  I had instant peace.  I only wish I had done this in the beginning - turning it over to Jesus instead of trying to do it myself.

I went the next morning, sat in the waiting area for my turn - just moments before I was to take the stand, the district attorney's secretary came in and said that I was free to go....they didn't need my testimony, the person before me told them all they needed to know about my portion of the case!  I didn't have to testify!  

Lesson 2:  Learning to TRUST Jesus.

Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.