I don't really even know how to start this post. No matter how I do, it seems to come across like I'm mad, sad or defeated. This couldn't be farther from the truth. I want to state I'm blessed! I've been able to do so many rewarding things in my life and I plan to continue doing so.
I grew up watching this: "I can bring home bacon (dadundadun), fry it up in a pan and never, never let you forget you're a man, cuz I'm a woman.....Enjoli"
Enjoli Commercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_kzJ-f5C9U
First, I didn't even know what "never let you forget you're a man" meant...hahah....but, the jest of it I did get..."do it all kinda woman." I feel for the most part, women of my similar age, had huge shoes to fill. A home, children, work and then try to do what our mother's did bake, cook from scratch, garden and canning. I'm sure I wasn't the only woman to feel this way. At this time society looked at women differently - times were changing and we were caught in the middle. It's true.
Thank the Lord I married a man, who is independent and within the first month of marriage he said "don't worry about me, I can take care of myself." (which now, I enjoy teasing him with when he wants my help doing something..."I thought you could take care of yourself!") I'm glad his mama raised him right! He did/does fulfill the commercial; hahah... he brings home the bacon, he not only fries it he can smoke it and he knows how to never let me forget I'm a woman!
I am making light of this, but for real, we put too much pressure on ourselves to "do it all." Old habits die hard they say. No one can do it all! If you think they do, they have support behind the scenes you know nothing about. Or, they hire it out. I remember one time as a young mother, I was invited to a friends house. It was so clean...how does she do this...clean house, kids head of the class, dog groomed....kinda thing....then I found out she had a cleaning lady! When I asked she said..."did you think I could do all this? I work full time so I don't have to clean" oh how we laughed.
You may be in your 20's in college, working part-time, single mother or 80 something in an assisted living facility - you can't do it all! Be wise and chose what you can do. I only wish I had come to this conclusion earlier in my life. I might have been a more patient mother, loving wife, better sister, friend or co-worker without the pressure of trying to do what I felt society thought I should....it all! Sorry Dicky Bird....
Yes, the younger me had some pretty lofty dreams - not all came to be. Like I said, I've been blessed in it all, whether it was a part of my plan or not. It was His plan for me.
The direction I want to motivate us in, is this, something I said to Al over coffee a week or so ago. "Well, I can't do it all, but, I can do what I want to do." Not in a spoiled brat..."I'm going to do what I want"...don't read that into this. It was a, well I only have so much time and energy to devote to (life) and I can't do everything, but I can do things I'm really interested in or want to do. Get it?!? I know, Dicky Bird was a spoiled brat...but, she is a much wiser older woman now...teehee....
I can today, look at my stage of life, where I am, where I want to be and set goals to achieve them. When we do, we will be able to do it all because we will be doing what we want to do. I don't want to waste time pushing myself to do things I feel I "should" do. None of us should!
I believe "doing it all" is good when you are doing all you want to do. By all means, put your "all" into it! I'm never going to be a master gardener, but I won't let that stop me from diggin in the dirt.
Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.
I grew up watching this: "I can bring home bacon (dadundadun), fry it up in a pan and never, never let you forget you're a man, cuz I'm a woman.....Enjoli"
Enjoli Commercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_kzJ-f5C9U
First, I didn't even know what "never let you forget you're a man" meant...hahah....but, the jest of it I did get..."do it all kinda woman." I feel for the most part, women of my similar age, had huge shoes to fill. A home, children, work and then try to do what our mother's did bake, cook from scratch, garden and canning. I'm sure I wasn't the only woman to feel this way. At this time society looked at women differently - times were changing and we were caught in the middle. It's true.
Thank the Lord I married a man, who is independent and within the first month of marriage he said "don't worry about me, I can take care of myself." (which now, I enjoy teasing him with when he wants my help doing something..."I thought you could take care of yourself!") I'm glad his mama raised him right! He did/does fulfill the commercial; hahah... he brings home the bacon, he not only fries it he can smoke it and he knows how to never let me forget I'm a woman!
I am making light of this, but for real, we put too much pressure on ourselves to "do it all." Old habits die hard they say. No one can do it all! If you think they do, they have support behind the scenes you know nothing about. Or, they hire it out. I remember one time as a young mother, I was invited to a friends house. It was so clean...how does she do this...clean house, kids head of the class, dog groomed....kinda thing....then I found out she had a cleaning lady! When I asked she said..."did you think I could do all this? I work full time so I don't have to clean" oh how we laughed.
You may be in your 20's in college, working part-time, single mother or 80 something in an assisted living facility - you can't do it all! Be wise and chose what you can do. I only wish I had come to this conclusion earlier in my life. I might have been a more patient mother, loving wife, better sister, friend or co-worker without the pressure of trying to do what I felt society thought I should....it all! Sorry Dicky Bird....
Yes, the younger me had some pretty lofty dreams - not all came to be. Like I said, I've been blessed in it all, whether it was a part of my plan or not. It was His plan for me.
The direction I want to motivate us in, is this, something I said to Al over coffee a week or so ago. "Well, I can't do it all, but, I can do what I want to do." Not in a spoiled brat..."I'm going to do what I want"...don't read that into this. It was a, well I only have so much time and energy to devote to (life) and I can't do everything, but I can do things I'm really interested in or want to do. Get it?!? I know, Dicky Bird was a spoiled brat...but, she is a much wiser older woman now...teehee....
I believe "doing it all" is good when you are doing all you want to do. By all means, put your "all" into it! I'm never going to be a master gardener, but I won't let that stop me from diggin in the dirt.
Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.
I like this perspective!
ReplyDeleteNice post!
ReplyDeleteI do what I can and when I can. Sometimes the house suffers, but there are times when I just need some ME time. I do remember that commercial too. Do you remember Leave It To Beaver's mom always in a dress wearing pearls? That was the 50's woman. How far we have changed. Janice
ReplyDeleteWell thought-out, and well-written, post GF.... I can so relate....I, too, was one of those “caught in the middle” women... And as I reached one goal (graduating from college), then another (law school), it became more and more difficult to balance all those “other” expectations.... Add in a touch of OCD and perfectionism, and it, did, indeed, become overwhelming.... Sometimes it still is as it is so hard to “let go.” I do strive, though, to one day reach your healthy perspective. Smiles & Motivational Hugs (or, should that be “Healthy Hugs” given your alphabet compulsion???) ;-) ~ Robin
ReplyDeleteI am a man and I am certainly capable of taking care of myself, but that doesn't mean that my wife and I don't enjoy doing things together, especially since I retired.
ReplyDeletei throughly enjoyed this post...and i remember that jingle well. i too, have done it all, but so has my husband. he never expected anything from me that he wasn't able to deliver. we always shared the chores, whomever had the time, took care of what needed to be done. we may fry the bacon differently, i use the microwave, he uses a fry pan, but the end result is the same and we are always good with that!!
ReplyDelete