I'm working on my bible study for this week. I have been thinking about relationships and came up with this list of 10 tips to building a better relationship. My bible study has scriptures in light of our relationship with Jesus. However, I think these tips are applicable in any relationship with your partner, boss, child, student or friend.
A better relationship starts with:
1. RESPECT: "to admire someone deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities or achievements"
Respect is the foundation of any relationship. Mutual or deserved by recognition. Understand your role in the relationship: boss/employee; teacher/student; parent/child - you will need to know, to have the right perspective.
2. PERSPECTIVE: "a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; point of view"
This goes hand in hand with respect. If you are the student, be the student, don't try to be the teacher. If you are the employee, be that, not the boss. Etc... Build upon your respectful role in this relationship and work on how to effectively communicate.
3. COMMUNICATE: "to share or exchange information, news or ideas."
Be honest. Let your opinion or idea be known. No one likes to guess what someone is thinking. How will you reach your goal; achieve happiness; let go of a hurt - if you don't communicate effectively. Don't beat around the bush - speak clearly: I feel, I want, I think... "There is something I want you to know, I would like it if you would listen." "No, I don't feel like that would be a wise way to ....." " "Yes, I think that is a great idea." Once you have, you will also be required to listen to how they feel.
4: LISTEN: "give one's attention to"
Know when to talk and when to listen. Please re read that! Don't be thinking about what you are going to say in response to what you are listening to. Stop, don't just listen - hear what is being said, this will result in a better understanding.
5. UNDERSTANDING: "sympathetically aware of other peoples feelings; tolerant and forgiving"
With a greater understanding, consider your role and theirs. Think on a time when that might have been reversed. Be not only sympathetic, but empathetic to what is being said. This will help you not only understand their position on an issue, but yours. This will make your acceptance easier.
6. ACCEPTANCE: "the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered"
You will be able to understand another's point of view when you look at who you are and see the person for who they are. Acceptance is the cornerstone in your foundation. Look at acceptance as a strength, not a weakness. Accepting someone and their opinion, especially if it conflicts with your own - isn't for the weak - it takes strength to do this. In doing so, you will achieve not only a better relationship, but a happier one. "I accept your opinion, I understand how you feel, I appreciate your telling me..."
7. APPRECIATION: "a recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something" "a full understanding of the situation"
It could have been hard to hear or even say; a complaint or compliment, but, the process is necessary in any relationship. Learn how to not only give, but receive appreciation. "I didn't know you felt that way, I appreciate your telling me." "You did an awesome job, thank you." "I appreciate the effort you put into cleaning your room." "Mom, thanks for making me french toast for breakfast, I love you!" Take time to reflect on each.
8. REFLECTION: "serious thought or consideration"
After you hear what is being said, reflect on how that made you or them feel. "How can I help this improve our relationship?" "How can we be better for it?" Look at your relationship, the situation and reflect on it, be ready to change.
9. CHANGE: "make or become different"
Change can be hard, but if you love someone, want to continue in a relationship, you will take necessary actions to change. Don't just say you're going to do it - do it. "I am sorry, will you forgive me?" "Let's fix this now, tell me what I can do." Be ready to for a better relationship - build upon the experience - grow from it - you will reap the rewards.
10: REWARD: "the thing given in recognition of one's service, effort or achievement"
Finding a way to achieve a good relationship, building upon a friendship may be difficult at times. Once you have established a foundation of respect, figured out your role in this relationship, learned how to communicate, not only listen to, but understand and accept the person or situation for who they are, you will be able to appreciate the process, enjoy the growth and reap the rewards. "I'm so happy we could talk about this and work through it" "I love that you trust me to..." "This is the best thing that could have happened to us." "I feel so much better knowing that..." These are rewards. After all, a healthy relationship with those we love is priceless. The peace and happiness you have because of it, is the utmost reward.
I hope you enjoyed these tips and can think of a way to apply them to your life - in this world or in preparation for the next.
Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin
A better relationship starts with:
1. RESPECT: "to admire someone deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities or achievements"
Respect is the foundation of any relationship. Mutual or deserved by recognition. Understand your role in the relationship: boss/employee; teacher/student; parent/child - you will need to know, to have the right perspective.
2. PERSPECTIVE: "a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; point of view"
This goes hand in hand with respect. If you are the student, be the student, don't try to be the teacher. If you are the employee, be that, not the boss. Etc... Build upon your respectful role in this relationship and work on how to effectively communicate.
3. COMMUNICATE: "to share or exchange information, news or ideas."
Be honest. Let your opinion or idea be known. No one likes to guess what someone is thinking. How will you reach your goal; achieve happiness; let go of a hurt - if you don't communicate effectively. Don't beat around the bush - speak clearly: I feel, I want, I think... "There is something I want you to know, I would like it if you would listen." "No, I don't feel like that would be a wise way to ....." " "Yes, I think that is a great idea." Once you have, you will also be required to listen to how they feel.
4: LISTEN: "give one's attention to"
Know when to talk and when to listen. Please re read that! Don't be thinking about what you are going to say in response to what you are listening to. Stop, don't just listen - hear what is being said, this will result in a better understanding.
5. UNDERSTANDING: "sympathetically aware of other peoples feelings; tolerant and forgiving"
With a greater understanding, consider your role and theirs. Think on a time when that might have been reversed. Be not only sympathetic, but empathetic to what is being said. This will help you not only understand their position on an issue, but yours. This will make your acceptance easier.
6. ACCEPTANCE: "the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered"
You will be able to understand another's point of view when you look at who you are and see the person for who they are. Acceptance is the cornerstone in your foundation. Look at acceptance as a strength, not a weakness. Accepting someone and their opinion, especially if it conflicts with your own - isn't for the weak - it takes strength to do this. In doing so, you will achieve not only a better relationship, but a happier one. "I accept your opinion, I understand how you feel, I appreciate your telling me..."
7. APPRECIATION: "a recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something" "a full understanding of the situation"
It could have been hard to hear or even say; a complaint or compliment, but, the process is necessary in any relationship. Learn how to not only give, but receive appreciation. "I didn't know you felt that way, I appreciate your telling me." "You did an awesome job, thank you." "I appreciate the effort you put into cleaning your room." "Mom, thanks for making me french toast for breakfast, I love you!" Take time to reflect on each.
8. REFLECTION: "serious thought or consideration"
After you hear what is being said, reflect on how that made you or them feel. "How can I help this improve our relationship?" "How can we be better for it?" Look at your relationship, the situation and reflect on it, be ready to change.
9. CHANGE: "make or become different"
Change can be hard, but if you love someone, want to continue in a relationship, you will take necessary actions to change. Don't just say you're going to do it - do it. "I am sorry, will you forgive me?" "Let's fix this now, tell me what I can do." Be ready to for a better relationship - build upon the experience - grow from it - you will reap the rewards.
10: REWARD: "the thing given in recognition of one's service, effort or achievement"
Finding a way to achieve a good relationship, building upon a friendship may be difficult at times. Once you have established a foundation of respect, figured out your role in this relationship, learned how to communicate, not only listen to, but understand and accept the person or situation for who they are, you will be able to appreciate the process, enjoy the growth and reap the rewards. "I'm so happy we could talk about this and work through it" "I love that you trust me to..." "This is the best thing that could have happened to us." "I feel so much better knowing that..." These are rewards. After all, a healthy relationship with those we love is priceless. The peace and happiness you have because of it, is the utmost reward.
I hope you enjoyed these tips and can think of a way to apply them to your life - in this world or in preparation for the next.
Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin
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