I'm sure I've posted about this subject before, however, this past week, it has become more evident to me. I think more people would be more happy (is that grammatically correct?) if they just learned to love the stage of life that they are currently living in.
Al and I have been in our empty nest stage for over a year. Our girls both married in an 8 month time span. We still live with their bedrooms full of their stuff, our entry closet full of their shoes and coats - so, our nest really isn't too empty.
I say that to state - how silly of a saying..."empty nest." Is one's nest really empty...we still have children, in fact, gained 2 more. They will always have a home here and visit us when they want. To hear others talk about this stage of life, I was prepared to be overwhelmingly depressed and feeling a loss of purpose.
O.K. to be honest, this past week we went to a concert at the Grand Theatre. In the row in front of us was a young mother who had a little red head, brown eyed adorable girl. She sat on her mama's lap and wrapped her little chubby arms around her mama's neck....for a moment...it made me sad...I miss my little red head, browned eyed girl doing that to me. I actually felt jealous...yes, jealous of the stage of life that mama was in...all the fun she is going to have, all the bedtime stories, snuggles, kisses, runny noses...temper tantrums...oh wait...school...eek...running to all the events...mean girls...puberty...tween/teen....then it hit me...I'm not jealous!
I had to stop and rethink this, I wasn't jealous or even envious...I was missing that stage. As my mind ran though it I rethought - I loved that stage, but wouldn't want to go back. Did you hear that Dicky Bird...you didn't want to go back. In fact, it made me even more thankful for MY experiences as a mother.
I quickly grabbed Al's hand and said "you gave me the best 2 things in my life and I love you so much for it!" (I know children are a gift from God).
(one of my favorite pictures of my girls - messy hair and all!)
(we still make time for one another - high tea in Milwaukee)
On the ride home, I was telling him all these things. He said to me, you know, I saw that little girl too and thought of some of those same things. I told him, I think people get "stuck" in a phase or stage of life and even though time marches on...they can't. "Living in the past" isn't living! Longing for the past to return - that's impossible. Missing and reminiscing - you can do that, but be thankful - even if you made mistakes. Move forward and establish new relationships with your adult children.
Truth be known...Al and I have become so much stronger as a couple...we have enjoyed every moment we had as parents, all the stages. We both are happy for our girls and proud of the women they have become. We look forward to the next stage - while fully enjoying this one.
You can too! If you are stuck, longing for the past...find a way to move forward. Miss the old times - but, be optimistic for future experiences. You are missing out on embarrassing the current stage you are in and all the opportunities it offers.
Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.
Linked to: http://strangersandpilgrimsonearth.blogspot.com/2015/10/the-art-of-home-making-mondays-please_26.html
Al and I have been in our empty nest stage for over a year. Our girls both married in an 8 month time span. We still live with their bedrooms full of their stuff, our entry closet full of their shoes and coats - so, our nest really isn't too empty.
I say that to state - how silly of a saying..."empty nest." Is one's nest really empty...we still have children, in fact, gained 2 more. They will always have a home here and visit us when they want. To hear others talk about this stage of life, I was prepared to be overwhelmingly depressed and feeling a loss of purpose.
O.K. to be honest, this past week we went to a concert at the Grand Theatre. In the row in front of us was a young mother who had a little red head, brown eyed adorable girl. She sat on her mama's lap and wrapped her little chubby arms around her mama's neck....for a moment...it made me sad...I miss my little red head, browned eyed girl doing that to me. I actually felt jealous...yes, jealous of the stage of life that mama was in...all the fun she is going to have, all the bedtime stories, snuggles, kisses, runny noses...temper tantrums...oh wait...school...eek...running to all the events...mean girls...puberty...tween/teen....then it hit me...I'm not jealous!
I had to stop and rethink this, I wasn't jealous or even envious...I was missing that stage. As my mind ran though it I rethought - I loved that stage, but wouldn't want to go back. Did you hear that Dicky Bird...you didn't want to go back. In fact, it made me even more thankful for MY experiences as a mother.
I quickly grabbed Al's hand and said "you gave me the best 2 things in my life and I love you so much for it!" (I know children are a gift from God).
(one of my favorite pictures of my girls - messy hair and all!)
(we still make time for one another - high tea in Milwaukee)
On the ride home, I was telling him all these things. He said to me, you know, I saw that little girl too and thought of some of those same things. I told him, I think people get "stuck" in a phase or stage of life and even though time marches on...they can't. "Living in the past" isn't living! Longing for the past to return - that's impossible. Missing and reminiscing - you can do that, but be thankful - even if you made mistakes. Move forward and establish new relationships with your adult children.
Truth be known...Al and I have become so much stronger as a couple...we have enjoyed every moment we had as parents, all the stages. We both are happy for our girls and proud of the women they have become. We look forward to the next stage - while fully enjoying this one.
You can too! If you are stuck, longing for the past...find a way to move forward. Miss the old times - but, be optimistic for future experiences. You are missing out on embarrassing the current stage you are in and all the opportunities it offers.
Blessings from Ringle, Wisconsin.
Linked to: http://strangersandpilgrimsonearth.blogspot.com/2015/10/the-art-of-home-making-mondays-please_26.html
Excellent share my dear! As the girls come home with their own little boys and girls it will knock your socks off. The joys of having grand-loves is amazing. But if your girls choose careers I know you will be just as supportive and happy for them, as it should be. Great post
ReplyDeleteLove you! :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Time just goes by so fast when you have kids! Its hard not to get those lump in the throat missing moments.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading this and agree with you wholeheartedly! Each stage is a blessing and we should live in today! Thank you for sharing this encouragement on the Art of Home-Making Mondays!
ReplyDelete